


The true story

by TheRealStory



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Don't Have to Know Canon, F/M, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-03-06
Packaged: 2018-03-15 22:28:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3464390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRealStory/pseuds/TheRealStory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Canons break.<br/>Stephenie Meyer just didn't write all the books as well as she could have. I am here to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How i truned vamprie

I'm Bella but you call me bell ba bell  
That's what vampire boyfriend calls me. My friend(I forgot her name) dog's name is Bella. I not a dog. I am human. Well was. Now I vampir. But not one of those facker otherkins no I real vampire. This is the story of how I am vampir  
Act one  
I was running through woods when hot guy fell out of tree he was so hot he was on fire. So I poured my water bottle on his head then I ask " what were you doing that tree? It is big"  
"I know" he say  
"How r u still alive"I say  
"Y u pour water on me" he say  
"Cuz you on fire"i say  
He looks all serious am then he grab me and fly up into even bigger tree  
"That's y" he say  
"U a vampire?!"I say  
" wha how do u kno wht a vampir is????!!!" He say!?  
" I looked it up on my google glass" I say  
"Oh I thought they were unless" he say  
"Oh I say" I say  
Then vampire hot man jump down tree and say let's go to me house my sisters will cook you food  
Then I say "ok"  
Then we get there and sisters give me food but I diddnt ask for food so I say no way ho say  
Then thy say "wha y not??!! Arrggg!!!! I am do mad and am mean argh Bella I gonna kills u!!!!!"  
Then I say" y I being so nice and I am pretty and I am awesome"  
Then hot vampire get mad and hit sisters then he take me to his room  
And say "oh sorry my sisters are so ugly and mean"   
"I kno like green hair? Ew" I say  
We laugh and then he my names Edward   
"My names Bella" I say  
" I kno but that's what my sisters call u and I don't wanna call u what ugly people do cuz I'm pretty so ill call u bell ba bell " he say  
"K then I call u wart cuz ur sisters call u Edwards" I say  
Then he say" bell a bell u r almost as pretty as me so I love u"   
Then I say" u r hot tht y I pour water on u I loves u2"  
"We are the best people in the world so our baby will be the cutest baby ever" he say  
I say" good idea lets have baby  
Then we have baby but porn kills u and I smart so I don't write it I going to heaven if u read porn u going to hell  
Then after I get baby he say" bell a bell I will take u home so ur dad don't get mad"  
"Ok" I say  
Then he take me home and say good night then I say where u going and he say " I going to fight Jacob the were wolf" and I say " aw cut puppy" and he say" hey no cheating or u go to hell" I good so I say ok no cheating will I do. Then he leave   
Now it is next day I'm at school but everyone hates me and no one will take to me cuz I new girl so I go talk to my friends but they r watching porn so I say u going to hell and run away so I don't go to hell then I look for wart but he isn't anywhere then after school he grabs me and says"bell ba bell I'm breaking up with cuz I found someone way more prettier then u" and I cry and say"BUT WARTTTT!!!! I loveee u and I pretty then any otter gril!" And he say" hey u dot get to call me wart anymore only pretty people do and u ugly!" I start to cry and then I see something red on his neck and say" Edward! R u hurt did Jacob do this to u????!!!!" Then he say " no u not hurt but yea Jacob did tht" and than I say" oh u kill him after that" and then say " no I dot kill pretty people I only kill uglies like u when I went to fight Jacob I c he pretty and I grab him and says u pretty" then I say"wht Edward did u cheat on me and then I think an bit and say Edward you a homo oh no u going to hell 2 times u a bad vampire!!" And he say" wha no I ain't a homo I striate as pencil" then Jacob come and say "pencils ain't perfectly striate and the he kiss Edward" and Edward say no homo this is my bromo while drinking Jacobs blood  
And I say"waittt u a raelllllll vampire and u reallllll were wolf???!!" And they say "yea we better then u humans hahha we immortal and we so pretty" then I say"IN THE NAME OF GOD DIE DEMONS DIE!!!" As I stab that both through the heart with an silver stake and stab there eyeballs will silver crosses then I say " in the name o all things holly kill the demons,servants of Satin and send them to Hell!!!" Then they die haha I say not so immortal anymore!!! AHAHHA


	2. Jail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our love was like Winne da poh's love for Tiggers

BOOM! A giant purple portal open and Jacob jumps out he say"you! Have been murder had baby before marry AND be homophobe! Now you sinned and must die! PEETA ARREST IT!"  
Then Peeta grab me and drag me to jail. Then daddy come and broke me outta jail and eat Peeta who. Just a carrot cake so not canibliisum. Then I say"thank dady!" Then he " don't call me that that wht ur momma call me last time we made sweet swet sticky love. Call me pa"   
Then I say "ok"  
Then he say"say who was your hot firend back there that came out I portal?!"  
Then I say"o that sinner were wolf homo Jacob"  
Then he say"wait bellyba(that wht pa call me) u a hommoophobe!!!??? I think rasied u better whta wrong wit u??!!! U going back to jail."  
So then pa try to take me back to jail but gardes r ther so he has to blow up jail and then he put me back in jail locked up alone I want mama I cry but he don't care he say" I going to fuck your preetty frend! Wih your mama!!" So I cry an cry for Edward who I can't call wart anymore he the only one who ever lvoed meee!!! Our love was like Winne da Poh Beers for Tiggers. Winne da poh fro england an loved tigger so muh he try to make sweet sticky baby love everyday and have da sex but his dick was 100 acres so he he kill tigger his only truly love wit it if only he still had the body now he wait and wait and wait just like me for body o tru love to find us. 

Edward never came  
I cry  
Pa laughs and say"just like he never came in u u wer a bad fuk!"  
Mama laugh and say" I bet u were wanting me to come and help u o my poor baby I'm so soorry u so pathitic I woud hlp butt I cant be seeen wit weakly like youa ugly   
human filth   
trash   
useless   
best place 4 u is jail   
U always ruining things for me I was gonna be a movie stare but den u born and take tht fro me u little shit!"

Then I brust out sobbing my mummy never swear  
She she not good but mama never swearing she never swawrs   
I know Edward th only 1 letf he nut love me. He say u pretty when we 1st meat. But den he kissin Jacob an not me he never kis me only make babies. And now i wait and wait and wait fro my lvoe he wil come. Have too com.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thaks for readin coment and kodus plz! I take pairing and charartcher reqests!!!

**Author's Note:**

> ths my frist fic will updat soon enghon  
> I tack ship requests and charaters requests.   
> If i "leik" them i   
> lol mudkips i do "leik"


End file.
